Saturday, 28 July 2012

The Moment is..

So, how often have you made this statement. . 'Those were the days!' with a heavy heart?

Surely more often than not. .

The most amazing part of that statement is that at that moment we didn't realise that we were living that event which we will someday look in the future and miss. At that moment it felt no big deal.

This is another aspect of us humans who tend to either live in the past with memories, good or bad, or worry about the future which no one has control over.

When I look back now, I remember having spent such wonderful moments with my family, celebrating birthdays, dinners and picnics. With my friends playing tennis, pool parties and bars. With my colleagues going for Off-sites, training sessions and office celebrations. But, I also remember at those times how I was not thinking that I will look back at them and miss them.

It then struck me, how often have we looked back, thinking those were the best days of our life, not realising that the present will someday also be that past.

We also have a tendency to think of doing something 'tomorrow' or 'next week', and before we realise it, the time and essence of the moment is gone. Simple things like picking up the phone to talk, sending a message to someone thanking them, an email, a personal visit, or, the almost instinct, writing a letter.

I have often heard and personally gone through not paying a visit to an ailing relative only to hear of them passing away, so regretting that it would have taken just a little effort to have done what needed to be done, but instead will now mentally leave a life long regret for not having done that. 

Ironically the only predictable thing about life that it is totally unpredictable.  This not only stands for one's life, but could be for anything, relationships, money, health, job, you just do not know what is taken away when. Here one moment, gone the next.

'We cannot predict the future 
So we keep repeating the past,
But this moment..How long will it last.
Worry not about the future for what it may bring,
Think not much of the past except for its learning,
Live more in the present, not asking how,
For what is most important... the MOMENT is NOW.."

God Bless.

p.s  I quote a few friends who i requested for giving me their views.

"By default, every person lives in the present, is haunted by the past and dreams of the future. The mind is on the present, the heart in the past and the ambition in the future" - Chandini Tandon.

"Live a little in the past, a bit in the future coz that's what makes our present, we learn from the past and aim for the future" - Sanjay Khetrapal .

"The Past is a cancelled cheque, the present a GIFT and future a promissory note. Live in the present with an attitude of gratitude, a purpose and a clear vision for your future" - Gautam Ganglani, Founder

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Sunday, 1 July 2012

Why I Love ShahRukh Khan!!!!

I have had the privilege to meet SRK, once at his home for a business brief, and the next time at the launch of his opus
( and the little time I spent with him re-established my observation on why he is such a phenomenal success. Behind the shades and the make up lays a mind that ticks and thinks, is sharp and agile, is confident and sure. But probably what left an impact on me was his hunger to stay where he is.. On the top..


That he is in the league of extra ordinary gentlemen is a given, but this blog is not only about my admiration for him but more on how each of us could and should probably take a leaf and apply it in our own lives.

i. Rags to Riches to Ruling!
Surely everyone who follows him knows his story wherein he came to Mumbai 20 years ago with probably no money but just sheer passion to do well. . 1000's pour into that city everyday, but how many can go on to successfully climb the ladder in their profession with NO support, NO family legacy, NO money,, but just enormous SELF-CONFIDENCE and the HUNGER to SUCCEED! In that respect, few can dispute the power SRK now commands not only in his industry, but now other fields as well. As in any field, the people at the top seldom find real friends and more often than not, find themselves at the receiving end. Love him or hate him, you cant ignore him.

ii. Risks
So you have aspirations to be the best in your field, but someone throws you a spanner, saying you got to take a risk and do totally against the norm for your path to succeed. Here, am not referring to anything illegal or immoral, just a 180 degree deviation from what your plan was! SRK, wanted to be a hero, like all aspiring actors, but guess what, he took the risk and came in as a negative role in his 2nd movie, this was a tremendous risk, but it worked incredibly for him. This is where earlier on in our lives risk is imperative. . Take the plunge, be ready to fail, but be ready to rise again! No one in their life can eliminate risk, it just needs to be managed well.

iii. Relentless
The will to succeed is all about the focused hard work you put in. SRK probably made more money 10 years ago, that would have seen him through for the next few generations, but yet, worked like a man obsessed for hours no end. He seems a guy on high octane and when usually asked what drives him to work, its his hunger to do better than before he says! Thanks to social media, one knows more of his movements, but even before, whatever one read about him, he was a 4 hour a night sleeper, his fuel was his work and his idea of relaxation was more work. But, again, if I were to ever ask him if he thought that he was working, I would bet he would say, he was just doing what he loved to do, it was just labelled 'work'! Here, I guess, the minute we start thinking of work as work, its probably diminishes our chances to succeed. For whatever it is worth, be relentless with your task, like SRK, at whatever you do, the positive results flow in due course!

iv. Humour
I am a shameless fan of SRK when it comes to him being a compere. More often then not the jokes on him, by him. But behind that humour is a man with so much self confidence that he doesn't mind laughing at him own self. Its a virtue to laugh at yourself, and what I learned here is not taking one so seriously. . I see so many people making a mockery of others, passing it as humor, but can't take a joke when its on them! Next time you want to crack a joke on others, crack one on yourself first! ! The ability to laugh at your own self, will also give you the courage to take the risks he took, we always fear being laughed at for our dreams, our ideas, but the minute you accept that, it just becomes so much easier.

And finally . .

v. Respect for Elders
SRK unfortunately lost his parents at a very young age, but, whatever little time they raised him for it appears his parents inculcated such a DEEP root of respect for elders that I would safely attribute a large percentage of his success to the respect he shows towards them. (If SRK turned out to be such a person under their influence for such a short time, imagine if they were still around). Never ever underestimate the positive power behind the good wishes and blessings from elders. After a point your parents will not be impressed with the fancy watch or the fancy car, but for them all that matters is the love and attention you exhibit. SRK also shows tremendous amount of respect for women, he is chivalrous to the core. I am sure most women would have a deep sense of security in his presence and that too me is a virtue every man should emulate.

SRK is inspirational material not only for the upcoming stars in the film industry, but also for so many of us who probably will never have any financial backing, a God father, an influential network or any unconditional support to fulfill our dreams.

Shah Rukh came, Shah Rukh saw and KING KHAN conquered. . Any reason why you can't?

(To the very few who have not heard of Shah Rukh Khan, just do a Google and you will have 35 million pages. .)

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Saturday, 2 June 2012

Then What?

I am very sure, every morning we wake up with probably a single or a multi-point task, to do or achieve something.. Aspirations, targets, goals, desires, duties are just some of the words that would describe what those agendas could be. .

Aspiring to be a model, making sure the sales target are achieved, having a goal to be the best in class, parental duties..

Like every human, I have so many unfulfilled desires, I would love for my waist line to be 4 inches smaller :) , would love for my head to have more hair :) , would love for this blog to be the most popular one of all time :) :)

But this is what came to my mind.. What if you were to wake up tomorrow morning and by some miracle, "that whatever" was achieved... Poof one night you go to sleep, and the next morning all that you wanted you have got.. Then what?

Having being given all that you have desired over night should surely make you an extremely satisfied person isn't it? But then, eventually would that not lead to a sense of dis-satisfaction that from here on there is nothing left to want.. Then what?  

We sometimes complain that as human beings we are just not content, but the way I see it is, isn't that dis-contentment itself what drives us to keep desiring more and more? Which takes us to the logical assumption that if one is not wanting anything anymore, they would have deemed to have got everything in life and hence they have nothing to look forward, then what?

I therefore feel, the need to want more is not as bad as it is made out to be. While a lot of us are not happy with what we have, its what we don't have is nature's way of ensuring we are out there with a sense of purpose, and isn't that what we all are trying to find, i.e. what is the purpose we were born for.

Having written this, I will ask my self as I sign off. WHAT THEN?

God Bless..

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Monday, 28 May 2012

De-Generation of a Generation!

So, I finally write after a big break. Took some time off to digest feedback and felt nice to hear people ask me why I had stopped writing . So for good or bad, here i am..
What now?

All my life I have always considered my generation to be moderate, we probably took some steps in our lives that broke away from tradition to some extent. I felt we wanted to explore for ourselves what the world offered instead of being under the blind influence of our elders.

With education systems improving, it was not a case of Father was engineer, so 'son' becomes one, nor was it, if a 'girl' is 20 she should be engaged to get married at the age of 21, and that too to a guy she was allowed to see only on the day she got engaged.

We evolved as a generation, we took pride that we were making some positive steps as challenging as it was because it was against tradition, BUT, this never took away the in bedded fear, that our parents were the final authority.

Cut to 20 years forward and what one sees now, is worrying to say the least. Observing what is happening now leads me to believe that if there has ever been a difficult time being a parent it is now...

"What have you done for me lately' was a song in the 80's by Janet Jackson and I can't think of a better line than that for the understanding today's generation has with their parents.

Most of us just had one relationship.. PARENT-CHILD. Unfortunately,  parents are at cross roads, trying to be the best friend they should be, because if they are not, their kids won't think of them as being 'cool' and if they try to be a parent, they fear they will never become friends with them.

Challenging isn't it?

The bad news is its not going to get any better. The good news is there is always hope. . .
So, where did it go wrong? Possibly two reasons!
1) Part blame could be put on a simple two letter word 'NO!'
Do parents today fear saying NO to their children for simply worrying about having to loose out on them? (In our childhood, a no from your mother meant a maybe, but a no from the father meant NOT A CHANCE) With the rapid strides women are making and finally venturing out to create a rightful names for themselves, more and more of a child's demands are being given in to. By the end of the day, working parents aren't left with any stamina to rationalise with children on their demands and this is where the problems manifest itself. By the time one realises, they have grown up and expect a YES for everything. Which leads me to the second reason.

2) Is today's generation a reflection of the parents themselves, hence shouldn't we be blamed? How often does a child land up being a smoker if either of his parent is? How often do you see a child dis-respecting people because they see a parent constantly being rude to their domestic help or the people around them?
In conclusion, a child is born with NO initial sense of judgement, the only people they are exposed to is their parents, hence as they grow older and observe, they probably think if their parents are doing something it must be right.
Ultimately, most kids inherit all the morals and values a parent posses!

So, the next time we think of the challenges we are facing bringing them up, probably look back at the manner in which we were brought up and appreciate that our parents only wished well for us when they used the dreaded word NO!

God Bless !
p.s This time I requested some people who i really respect for various aspects to share with me their thoughts. I quote them.

"Today's generation is more focused, goal oriented and practical. For me, they are my inspiration."  and  "Do not get trapped in competition. . Live within your means because nothing is more valuable than the happiness of your family."- Deepak Bhatia, father of 2 girls in their 20's
"To the youth of today. Our elders taught us build on hard work and hold on to the values. Life has no short cuts, and make sure you value relationships over materialism. In the end those people will stand by you, and not the fancy lifestyle." Vishal Bhatia, father of 3 young girls, aged 10, 6 and 6 months. 

"Today's generation is far more clued to what's happening around them, along with tonnes of self confidence. A dash of patience would go a long way in further strengthening their character" - Bob Thaker, Business man, Teacher to MBA students and a father of a 24 and a 20 year old.

"We cant raise our children the same way our parents raised us, and that by itself is a huge challenge, though every parent would say the same thing" - Mother of a 7 year old.

".....cultural values seem to be hanging on a thread... the expectations of having seems to be a given and no longer of being earned. I am not blaming this generation completely the blame also lies with us parents... we give them everything on a plate without thinking about the consequences... Family values are a lifeline - the feeling of belonging is important it gives us all a place in who and where we are...... its really our job as parents to nurture and teach before we go on to preach on the degeneration of a generation..." Namrata Wadhwani - Mother of 3 young children
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Thursday, 2 February 2012

Thank you to Please.. ...

29-01-2012 - Saw the passing away of one of our dearest uncle who was more of a grand father to the family.

A man of few words but infinite wisdom, left a positive impression  in every body's life, which i am sure will be remembered for very long and hopefully shared with the next generation!

I really felt the need to share just one incident that I was a witness to and from then on have never forgotten his words.

At 2 am, when his wife fell ill, being too old himself to take her, he called upon his children and grand children to ensure she was rushed to the hospital. Not being mobile himself, he sat on the sofa the whole night, completely silent and doing nothing but worrying about her.

One of his grand daughters, Vidisha, made some very important phone calls, to ensure the best doctors attend to her, and the whole family besides him were with my aunt the whole night.

The next morning, Vidisha came back home and sat next to her grand father, narrating to him the entire series of events at the hospital and how his wife, was doing better. My uncle at this juncture, very clearly with tears in his eyes, sat silent for a long time and then said the most remarkable thing.. To his very own grand daughter he goes... 'Vidisha, I want to thank you for all that you did for your grand mother and me last night' to which Vidhisha goes, 'Dada'ji, why are you saying thank you, its my duty to look after her' and with a sweet smile he goes, 'Thank you and Please are like vitamins, we constantly need to use these two words to just show people how much we appreciate what they would do, or what they did, its two simple words, but will make people feel so nice, so hence Thank you Vidisha'

That simple statement, from then on left such a positive impact, that I have tried to make it a part of my life in totality.

To my uncle we shall forever miss you.

To the all of you reading this. 'Thank you and Please come again'

Saturday, 21 January 2012

Four Cars and I ..

True incident > So what did, overtaking a car, and then being over taken by another 2 cars teach me?

Some time early in 2003 I bought my first car in Dubai, a dream car since a kid, and one that gave me so much satisfaction. (It was even more special, because until a year back, I really wasn't even in a position to afford a bus ticket thanks to some serious financial blunders I had made. More on that in later blogs)

As with any normal human being, I really did feel a huge sense of acheivment and happiness.

So here I was on my way for golf, and I over took a older looking car, I went past him and I felt he looked at my car, a few minutes away, while that old car and I were on our course, a swanky looking Porsche over takes both of us, and comes in front of me, and all of a sudden my car seemed so pale compared to his. As he was in front of a me, a metallic blue Bentley, with a fancy number plate, over took all three of us, and all of our cars looked even more sedate.

That's where it stuck me, the guy in the first car, probably looked at mine and wondered, the same thoughts as I did when I saw the Porsche as he did seeing the Bentley, that 'what have I done in my life as yet?' a rush of dis-satisfaction that even though we were all driving what we had probably earned with our hard work, there was this element of not having achieved anything at all.

Such is, i guess our everyday life, where upon I am yet to feel content with what I have. Being content and being ambitious cannot be mixed, I want to do better in my life, because I want to, not because I have to. But at every period, being content with what little or with how much more I have, should be my key goal.

That four car episode taught me one more thing, no matter how much you have achieved there will always be someone who has achieved more than you, does that mean one's life is meaningless?

I honestly dont think so..

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Wednesday, 18 January 2012

parents, the kids!

To those who know me, know I don't have children, to those who don't, I actually have two. :)

One is my 81 year old dashing father who refuses to let me give him a hand for anything, and the other my chubby 74 year old mother, whose only agenda in life is to ensure her kids continue looking healthy (read that as fat).

Why are they my kids? Because through them I see the how a child would have been, it is true when they say that life goes a full circle, in this case it is from infancy to old age. The similarity between the two is another of nature’s beauty.

As little children just wish to be with their parents, older parents just wish to be with their kids. (Nothing gives my mother more satisfaction than a night out of mine getting cancelled)

The look an older parent has when you come back from a hard days work is a replica of a little kids seeing their parent return home.

Kids throws tantrums because their parents force some food into them, so true with olderly parents who just want to eat very little and yet we, concerned about their health, want to stuff them with more food!

The amount of sleep they both enjoy is just the same, as similar as the look of utmost peace when they are at it.

Kids nag their parents into asking the same thing a dozen times, and unfortunately with old age and memory loss, older parents do the same.

At a kid’s 5th birthday party, I thought to myself, however one difference between them is that when a kid has their birthday there is so much to look forward to, and when your parents have one there is so much to look back upon!

Treat your older parents as you would treat your little one, with utmost patience, give them lots of your time, give them all that they desire, but above all don’t forget to tell them how much they and their presence mean to you.

God Bless!

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Monday, 16 January 2012

A new beginning!

From: AB
Sent: Sunday, April 03, 2011 11:40 AM
To: K

Subject: Best Of Luck
Dear K,

Today is the first day of the rest of yor life.

However, today is different as you formally step in from our little baby, to a young lady out to make a mark for yourself.

For your parents and us this is a very proud moment, specially since your father has given you the best education you asked for. Your mother too dedicated a lot of her time to you when you must have had to go through the difficult times during your exams and tests etc. But for them this is all what it boils down to, that you eventually settle and step out to the real world and make a mark for yourself.

I thought I would share just a few pointers that you would like to probably keep in the back of your mind, these are not something I have read, but these are something I have personally experienced in my life, and who better a witness to what my life has gone through than all of you, my family.

2) WORK BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY - Never tell yourself, this is not my job. If your task is A, B, C and you are asked to do D, E and F... ask your supervisor if there is anyway you can help him do G H and I also. However do not let anyone exploit you if you do that. But make sure you never shy away from hard work.

3) GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER - You will always feel that other departments are having a better deal than the one you are in, that is not true, even they will be thinking of the same for your department.

4) STAY AWAY FROM OFFICE POLITICS - Gossiping about colleagues and your seniors is the LAST thing you should get into. Never ever assume that what you share with a colleague about another one, will not be told to that person. It will be and it will be shared with more then what you may have said. In college and school this was ok, but in a corporate world, you are being judged. If you are known as a gossip person you will get no where in life. If people come and talk to you about other people, DO NOT GIVE YOUR OPINION on what you think but be a good listener and keep your mouth shut. Remember one philosophy in life - IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE, SAY NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!

5) STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE - You will always encounter negative people, who will discourage you from working hard. These are people who have in the past, are in the present and be in the future in the same position always!!! Hang around with people whose focus in life is the same as yours, which is to do well for yourself.

6) There are NO SHORT CUTS to success - A diamond is formed after the carbonsiation of coal over years and years and years. Thats also how sucess is ... Very few people in this world enjoy success early on, the ones who dont, try to find short cuts... It doesnt happen that way...

7) TEAM EFFORT - As you grow and work in a team, remember success is always a team effort. Never take credit for a task alone, even if you know in your heart it was because of you. Your team will love you for this, and all companies want team players not individual heros. REMEMBER India won the world cup as a team, not Sachin, not Yuvi, not Dhoni.. But team INDIA!!!

8) FRIENDS - A lot of your 'friends' will dissuade you from working hard, these r people who have no goals and aspirations in life and cant see someone who has. Stay away from people who dis-courage you from doing your work, no matter how tough a day it is, life is just preparing you for a bigger battle forward.

9) ENJOY - The more you fall in love with your job, the less effort it will require from you. I love what I am doing, and I thank god everyday for giving me this opportunity. Do not take it as WORK but take it as something you WANT to do...

and finally

1) DO NOT WORK FOR MONEY - But work for success, money is a by product of success. If you are successful, you will make a lot of money, but you also earn a lot of respect, admiration and well wishers. Whereas making a lot of money does not guarantee you the above three....

Best of luck baby.... Do your parents proud ....

Lots of loves and blessings...


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Saturday, 14 January 2012

A short thought on my thoughts!

Its said a person is known by the company they keep, or the food they eats, to which i would like to add.. 'A person is a person by the thoughts they have..'

For sure, most of you would have already read so much on the power of positive thinking, but like everything else, a gentle reminder always helps.

My dear mother always taught us a simple thing, be careful what you say or think of, you never know when it may come true. So if you going to think of something, might as well think of something that's positive and pleasant!

Think of a thought that gives your mind a reason to believe that that thought is a good thought!

Think about it!

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Friday, 13 January 2012

Want to make more money? ? ?

The big Q.. 'How do i make more MONEY?'

Not that there is enough not already written about this by people infinitely more intelligent and wiser. but I still thought I would add a slightly different perspective.

Right from the time I remember, my dear father, made sure he would constantly drill one message.. SAVE SAVE SAVE. Like all parents, he only wished well my future.

When I look back I thank him immensely because that discipline has got me to where ever I have got, but now I think the need of the hour is the opposite.. its SPEND SPEND SPEND..

How many of you and the people around you have seen their income reduce over the last three years? My guess would be a very small percent.. maybe a spouse has lost their job, or a pregnancy has a forced break. BUT, how many of you are spending the way you did 3 years ago? My guess would be a small percent there too..

The root of the problem lies not what will happen, it is what is happening.. We have just stopped spending..

Why have we stopped spending? because we have lost all confidence in the future!
Why have we lost confidence in the future? Because all we read is negative news!
Why is there just negative news? Because that is how the people writing the news are feeling!
and Why are they feeling that way? its because they have lost all confidence in the future.. 

How does this affect you? The more you spend, the more chances are someone will land up spending on the service/product you are offering!

Give this a thought, the next time you read that there is 8.5% unemployment,  it means that there is a 91.5% EMPLOYMENT!

(Statistically speaking if just 4% of the working population were to increase their spending by just $100 a month, that would add to roughly a 0.5% increase in global GDP. To make it more mind boggling.. that is $288 BILLION worth of fresh money in circulation!)

So people. Want to make some money? How about starting to spend some!

ps. Last I checked the Indian markets are up 650 points since Jan 2nd. Dow is up 2.16% for the month!

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Thursday, 12 January 2012

Its all about MONEY, honey - or is it? ? ?

"Money doesn't buy you happiness say the rich to fool the poor... "

Maybe because I am a financial adviser, this may sound paradoxical... But seriously money is not the most important thing you should be chasing... you should be chasing... SUCCESS.... chase success.. money is, more often than not, a natural result.. chase money, and you shall be chasing all your life with no success...

My line of business gives me the good fortune of dealing with some of the weatlhiest people around, and a common element in all of them was their hunger to succeed.. some wanted to do it at any cost... and some would do it on their own terms.. Either way, success was and remains their only satisfaction... 

More often then not people see some one wealthy and comment upon that person becoming rich over night.. to which I quote Steve Jobs 'Over night success stories, take a longggggg time to happen'

Finally, remember no matter how rich you are, there is someone out there richer... what matters is not how rich but what really matters is how happy you are!!!

Are you?

~ AB

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Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Not too sure, how do i start this... have always been the sort of guy who in solitude has so many random thoughts and concepts, that at all times I curse myself for not carrying a dicta phone..

My ideas and opinions range from the financial markets, something that I am now involved in, to Golf, something i cant live without, to marriages, ho hum, to today's generation, I-this and I-that.. to just about anything..

I seriously wonder and I seriously think... But at the end of the day... i don't take life seriously cause in the end, the result for all of us is just the same........ :)

Lets see how this shapes up...